Ups and Downs

"Jenin"

This is a picture of my completed doll! I chose to name her Jenin after the town on the West Bank where we went to pick olives and attend the olive festival. The doll class was an incredible experience for me. It brought together so many things for me. I could not help thinking about my mother who taught me to sew by helping me make doll clothes for my dolls. I would sit under her sewing machine (literally) and put scraps of fabric together. The women who sat around me in that class and our instructor, Leslie Molen, were so generous with their time and resources. It was a wonderful, comfortable environment for learning and creativity. Our assistant teacher, Dee Dee Triplett, is the resident doll artist at Campbell and she shared her thread, doll making "instruments", music, and vast knowledge with all of us. Everyone in the room shared what we had brought so that there was no want of things available for creating. It was a community of abundance shared.

Sewing Room in the Fiber Arts Building

We chatted with each other, commiserated over the difficult moments, and often fell into a comfortable quiet as we worked. I found myself praying with the stitches I made - prayers for friends and family, thanksgivings for the richness of life. In those comfortable silences I let an awareness of my human failings seep up to the surface of consciousness. This sabbatical time has made me so aware of how my own personal insecurities get in the way of knowing and accepting others. I could use a lot of words to try to express this but the simplest statement is that for a relatively unprejudiced person, I have prejudices! It comes in the form of judgements about other people. I am quick to judge and slow to change the judgement. It is hard to write about this part of me that I don't like. I also know that if I am going to write or speak about peace and reconciliation I have to face this part of me.

At breakfast one day last week I had a fascinating conversation with two other students. These women were part of other classes at Campbell. As I told them about my sabbatical, they asked questions about reconciliation. I talked about my latest theory - that reconciliation is an upside down process with forgiveness coming first. They were really open with me about their own struggle to find reconciliation in their lives. For both of them they had found that even before forgiveness they needed to "break the bond of hate / anger" that existed between them and the person who had hurt them. Doing that work was a process of "praying peace" for the other person. One of the women said it was a matter of "wishing them (the offender) well" each day. In a way it is "sending the person out of your life each day with peace and blessing." This breaks the bond, enables forgiveness (eventually) and allows reconciliation. I am spending more time with these thoughts.

More Family

Today my brother, Bill, is preaching at his church, House of Prayer, and I am going to hear him. Later today, my niece, Bretta (second from the right in front) and I will go to Campbell to take a course in Embroidery together. This all makes me happy.

Sugar Honaker (2000 - 2009)

My wonderful Golden Retriever, Sugar, died on Friday. She had been trying to live in spite of a huge lymphoma in her chest. Suggy was living with Monteen Elliott and I got to see her at Christmas when Monteen brought her to Sparta, NC. This picture was taken in Wilmington, NC a few days after Christmas when we visited Blair. Sugar was such a lovely girl. I got her when she was 4 and she had been surrendered to the human society in Evansville twice. She was pretty neurotic from her past of abuse but thanks to her vet at the time, Dr. Laurie Wright, we got her on some "drugs" that turned her into the Golden Retriever that she was supposed to be. She and Katie (my other Golden) were exact opposites. Katie is a raving extrovert and Suggy was my introvert. She loved her beddie and her treats. I like to think that she had a great 5 years with Katie and me, and she had her own friends. Of course my cat, Pumpkin, may miss her but since Sugar never really acknowledged her existence, who knows?! Monteen, Katie and I will miss her so much. Rest in peace with St. Francis and all the other loved animals of heaven my dear, sweet Sugar!