On Sabbatical - On Hold

I am at the Alleghany County Public Library in Sparta, NC. My high speed internet at home is being repaired by Embarq, who are my new best friends! I have been on the phone with them so much they get lonely when I don't call. Technology is... frustrating.


I have been resting and reading. Yesterday was rainy and dark - a good day for a pot of tea and a good book. Today is sunny and when I get home I am going to rake some leaves away from the front of the house. I will send pictures soon (I hope) of the leaves, the house and the mountains.


The landscape of God's creation is a cathedral of unparalleled beauty. I realize this often as I drive through the gentle landscape of southwestern Indiana. The fields are constantly changing colors and are a rich patchwork quilt of gold, green, orange and brown. The beauty stops me in my tracks, literally causing me to pull over to the side of the road at times to soak it in. When I got to Wytheville, Va and caught sight of the Blue Ridge Mountains for the first time I had the same reaction. The gentle, smoky blues of the ridges falling away over and over across the landscape stopped me once again. Such a variety of colors that God has created for us in this earthly sanctuary.

I will send pictures as soon as my friends at Embarq fix the cable or whatever is broken. Until then, Lucy the librarian here at ACPL will be helping me communicate. From Sparta....

The King of Love

Yesterday morning we sang "The King of Love My Shepherd Is" - its author is Henry W. Baker and it was first published in 1868. I have sung this hymn many times in many places, but by far the most memorable was in 1977. I was at Sewanee with my EFM class and we worshipped at All Saint's Chapel. All Saints' is far more than a "chapel." It is a "cathedral" of great beauty and grandeur. I remember this hymn so well because in the middle of singing it, I knew I was called by God.

The king of love my shepherd is,

Whose goodness faileth never;

I nothing lack if I am his

And he is mine for ever.

Where streams of living water flow

My ransomed soul he leadeth,

And where the verdant pastures grow

With food celestial feedeth.

Perverse and foolish oft I strayed,

But yet in love he sought me,

And on his shoulder gently laid,

And home rejoicing brought me.

In death's dark vale I fear no ill

With thee, dear Lord, beside me;

Thy rod and staff my comfort still,

Thy cross before to guide me.

Thou spread'st a table in my sight;

Thy unction grace bestoweth;

And O what transport of delight

From thy pure chalice floweth!

And so through all the length of days

Thy goodness faileth never:

Good shepherd, may I sing thy praise

Within thy house for ever.

I am not sure exactly which words of this hymn confirmed that call in me...it easily could have been verse 3. "Perverse and foolish oft I strayed" was an adequate description of my life at that point! As was the last part of that verse: "But yet in love he sought me; and on his shoulder gently laid and home rejoicing brought me." Perhaps it was those words confirming in me the truth of my life: I am a sheep who is loved by a Shepherd and this Shepherd will always bring me home...no matter how far I stray.

Yesterday we sang this hymn as the sequence hymn before and after the gospel lesson. As I placed the gospel book back on the altar, I felt overwhelmed with God's love. I could hear the congregation singing the words of the hymn and I felt the depth of their presence. I remember when I was ordained as a deacon in 1984. Although only the Bishop's hands were on my head, I felt the weight of the congregation's presence behind me. In my mind it felt greater than those gathered - it had depth that went beyond the doors of the cathedral and into the world. That was similar to what I felt yesterday.

I told a story for my sermon yesterday from the book "Tales of the Kingdom" by Bruce and Karen Mains (1985). It was the story of the little girl named Dirty. She comes to the place called Great Park where everyone loves the king. But she refuses to be one of the king's subjects and she goes to live with the pigs. She is "dirty." Dirty loves to watch the Great Celebrations while hiding in the trees, so no one will see her. At the Great Celebration all the king's subjects go into a circle of flames and when they "enter" they are changed - made real. After they "enter" there is dancing, singing and a banquet. A beggar finds Dirty hiding in the bushes one night and invites her to go with him into the sacred circle and be his guest at the banquet, but Dirty refuses. She tells him she would rather be with the pigs than with him. As she watches the beggar enters the circle through the flames and he is revealed as the king. This missed invitation by the king causes Dirty to want more than her pig stye. She finds herself crying for the first time and she runs away. She is found and brought to the Great Celebration where she enters the circle. She is clothed in white...made new from head to toe. She asks someone about this new garment and finds out that she has been clothed in kingslove.

I think that "clothing" is what happens to us from time to time. We are suddenly and unexpectedly clothed in Godslove. It falls over us like a soft garment and all the "knots and gnarles" within us are loosened so that we can not only feel Godslove but give it away. It is a good thing to remember those moments when God makes us new. For me it is a reminder that if God can make me new, and clothe me in his love, then he can do it for any and all of those people around me. It helps me not be so impatient with others or so eager to disregard those I disagree with or dislike. In words from "Tales of the Kingdom" - Dirty found that she could love even those who were "ugly" because she knew a king that could make them new. That's the task isn't it?

Praying for reconciliation

I've been reading the news accounts of the split in the Diocese of Pittsburgh. I really makes me quite sad. I spent 10 years in that diocese (1980 - 1990) and it was a conflicted diocese even then. I don't really think that Gene Robinson's consecration was the "splitting issue." It felt then and now like the issue is biblical interpretation. I have come a long way since my roots at Trinity Episcopal Seminary in Ambridge. It was a great place for me in 1980, and it prepared me well for ministry. And I believe that the tools I received there helped me look clearly at scripture, and use tradition and reason to balance what I see there. So I view scripture with a broader lens, I believe.

Having said all that, I am in my prayers hoping that a spirit of generosity prevails among the Anglicans and Episcopalians in Pittsburgh. The remaining Episcopal Church has great leadership. The buildings and assets of the diocese are going to be argued and fought over with the zeal of two people going through a divorce. It is a divorce in reality and the persons on both sides have given themselves to those properties and assets over the years. My prayers are with those who make those decisions over the next few months. Pray for the energy in the midst of that struggle to do the work necessary in being "put right" with one another.

The Celebration Begins

This is a picture of the wonderful group of people from St. Stephen's who put together the celebration yesterday. We had it at The Granary in New Harmony - it's a wonderful place for this sort of community reception. The upstairs is a performance / lecture space and downstairs is an open area with small kitchen. A restuarant in Evansville did the food and they chose foods that reflected the various parts of my sabbatical journey - roasted eggplant pieces wrapped around cream cheese with herbs and garlic, small biscuits with ham (spicy!) and a wonderful humus on crisp pitas. Those were just a few of the dishes and they were all yummy. A lot of our parishioners came and some folks from the community as well.


It was good to share information about my sabbatical with folks. I had a display about the the various parts of the sabbatical and of the events that will be happening at St. Stephen's. And I had made stars out of translucent paper to geive to each person. They had a few beads strung on each one and a paper with the Prayer of St. Francis and a reminder to pray for peace and reconciliation in all the situations of our lives.


Here's a picture of the stars:

I am hoping that these stars will help people think about their relationships and situations where there is a need to make peace and work on reconciliation. A woman at the reception yesterday asked me "What does reconcilation mean?" I thought it was a wonderful question. It is a hard concept to define clearly. We know when we are reconciled with someone or something, but how do we get there? What are the steps that lead someone from unreconciled to reconciled? We can forgive someone for a hurt but does that mean we are reconciled?


In 2 Corinthians Paul says, "All this is from God who reconciled us to himself through Christ and has given us the ministry of reconciliation." (2 Corinthians 5:18) He continues in verse 19 by saying: "that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting the message of reconciliation to us." So we have been given both the ministry and the message of reconciliation and it is supposed to look and feel something like the peace we have in knowing that God loves us in our sinfulness. We are "put right" with God. And if we have been entrusted with this ministry and message of reconciliation it must have something to do with enabling others to be put right with God and with others. This is a full time ministry! And it is work inside of ourselves as well as a ministry with others. I have a lot to learn.

Preparing for the Journey

This is not a picture of my transportation for my sabbatical journey! It is actually a picture of a boat on the Sea of Galilee taken by my friend, Blair Both, on her journey to Israel earlier this year. Journies, whether by land, air or sea, seem to take a long time to plan. In less than a month I will leave New Harmony for three months of travelling, studying, exploring, and resting. In the next few weeks until I leave things will undoubtedly get hectic. I am trying to make this preparation time a part of the whole experience. It is the work I need to be involved in right now and it is important. It is not just about making sure I have the right clothes for cooler weather and that I have all the various accessories I will need for travel; it is more about preparing my mind and heart to receive this time. If I don't do that work this adventure will slip away in a fog of busyness. Preparation is part of the journey. It may be the part I least like but I want to invest myself in doing it well. So it is on to the next task...

I just finished reading "The Shack" by William P. Young (Windblown Media, 2007). It is an unusual book. It has a "fantasy" feel to it, not unlike Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" or Lewis' "Chronicles of Narnia." It is a very appealing book. It contains lighthearted dialogue between a man named MacKenzie (Mack) and the Trinity (as in Father, Son and Holy Spirit)! The theology worked out in this encounter is for the most part quite "right on." I am sure that not everyone would agree with me on this and that's okay. As a friend of mine used to say, "We all have our own heresies."

The book does many things well, but perhaps the most important part of what it does is giving voice to the problem of suffering in the world. Why do people, especially children, suffer? Why doesn't God intervene and stop evil from happening? These questions are as old as humanity and if we are not struggling with them then we are probably in denial. But the book is larger than this problem. The Shack gives us a picture of how much God loves us. I said to someone after reading the book that it made me fall in love with Jesus all over again! And in some ways it did. I have been recommending the book to lots of people.

The gospel lesson (Matthew 18:15 - 20) for this Sunday (September 7) is about Jesus' instructions for conflict in the church. They are uncomfortable words - words that challenge me to do better at "speaking the truth in love." Going to the person who hurts me or betrays me or gives me a hard time, and telling them how I feel is way more vulnerable than I want to be most of the time. Forgiving those same folks means looking deep inside myself. It means confronting my own dark desires and not just once; but over and over until they are exorcised from my heart.

In The Shack God helps Mack come to a point where he can forgive the man who murdered his young daughter, Missy. After he says the words, "I forgive you" over and over, he turns to God and says, "So is it all right if I'm still angry?" God does not hesitate with his answer, "Absolutely! What he did was terrible...But don't let the anger and pain and loss you feel prevent you from forgiving him and removing your hands from around his neck." God continues with this wisdom, "Son, you may have to declare your forgiveness a hundred times the first day and the second day, but the third day will be less and each day after, until one day you will realize that you have forgiven completely." (The Shack, page 227)

Madeline L'Engle was fond of saying that love is not always that wonderful warm feeling rather love is a decision. Love is an act of the will, not of the emotions. Forgiveness is so much the same way. There are times when I don't want to even consider forgiving someone. My feelings are no where near forgiveness. At times like that it is best to just stop and turn around completely - face a new direction and make myself walk into forgiveness. The world is a hard place and life gets more complicated each day. Someone said to me many years ago, "Keep life simple...keep short accounts." Keep the emotional baggage down to a minimum by not letting those accounts of anger and unforgiveness get out of hand. Settle the accounts quickly - or as Jesus would say, "Go to your brother or sister and work it out." I will pray for you in this challenge if you will pray for me.

This Sunday's lections included the story of Moses and the burning bush from Exodus. I had written a sermon on the Gospel lesson from Matthew and I wound up scrapping the written test to talk about Moses. The gospel was the story of Peter's confession of Jesus as the Messiah and Jesus' rebuke of Peter. In the gospel lesson is Jesus' call to us to "Deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow him." I'm not sure when I have lately "denied myself" anything! I tend be able to rationalize giving myself what I want, whether its things or thoughts. Part of denying myself is to make myself turn aside from the path I am following, whether mentally or physically and turn to face what God wants for me. That's certainly what Moses had to do when confronted with the burning bush.

Moses was tending his flock, actually his father-in-law's flock when out of the corner of his eye he saw a bush burning but not being consumed by the fire. Moses, who had killed one of Pharoh's soldiers, probably did not want to face into that fire. We all know deep inside when something has "the odor of holiness" about it. Perhaps it's the way the sun comes through a window or a sudden and unexpected breeze across our skin; we know that God is present and we know it deep within. Whether we stop to acknowledge the "holy" or simply wait until the shivering in our belly ceases so we can continue to do the next thing, we know that temptation to "turn aside" into the holy moment. Moses could have kept on tending the sheep; perhaps he had already passed by several other "burning bushes" before this one. God might have continued to pursue him or moved on to find another person to deliver his people. Moses did turn aside. He denied himself the pleasure of remaining a simple shepherd. He denied himself the safety of hiding from Pharoh. He faced into the burning bush and in doing so he faced his greatest fears with God's help.

Perhaps this is one way that reconciliation happens. We face into our worst fears, into the burning bush and we deny ourselves the pleasure of staying angry, or cynical, or filled with hate. There is pleasure in keeping those feelings alive. Turning away from the path of anger and face into God's love burning brightly for us opens up a new opportunity for action and for forgiveness. I wonder how many burning bushes I pass by each day? I wonder how many opportunities for turning aside to face God's love I walk past each week? Oh for the grace and courage to deny myself and turn aside.